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I know God is always there for me, but I need people here that I can count on. But I hardly experience that kind of love. This is why I don't trust many people. Even people who say they wanna be there for me don't come through. #TraumaIsComplicated

Ironically Food for Thought from Alice's Wonderland Bakery is playing. Too bad there isn't anyone in my life I can count on like Alice sings about. #TraumaSucks

I'm always there when people need me, but I hardly experience the same love in return. There's always something more important. I'm being sincere here. You should NEVER put going to a musical above being there for someone! Even if you just give the person a few minutes, it's enough. #TraumaSupportMatters

"I say I'm fine, hey I'm fine, but I'm not. I'm broken." The truth is most people don't want to help me through my pain and trauma. Most people just want me to heal, but not come alongside me. And that hurts the most. #TraumaSucks #TruthBeTold

I've never had anyone sincerely say "I love all of you-especially your wounded parts." It takes a special person to speak those words and mean them. Unfortunately, I haven't met them yet. And yet, I do that for everyone else. When will my turn come? #TraumaSucks

If you're going to help someone through trauma, you don't make it about yourself! You don't concentrate on things that don't matter. You come through for them 100%, no matter how hard it is. I know bc I've done it for people time and again. #TraumaSucks

I could be facing something big in a few days. If I do, I'm going to need compassion and support. I shouldn't be praying it doesn't happen bc I know I won't get the support and love I need. But that's what I've been doing for the past six months. #MedicalTraumaSucks

On top of that, I might be facing an eye procedure that will bring up trauma from one 10 years ago. But will I get the support I need? Probably not. My best friend should be able to come visit like I supported her, but she can't. I don't hold it against her honestly. But it hurts knowing I'll be alone again. #MedicalTraumaSucks

I'm not complaining. I'm actually pouring my heart out from experience. I don't have anywhere else to turn. If someone I love is going through something, I put them first and leave my pain and trauma out of it as much as possible. I focus on being there for them and put myself second. That's who I am. That's how I've always been. #TraumaSucks

I make sure I'm available to them as much as possible. Even if I'm going to a musical or movie, I pick up the phone up until the event starts. After that, I will text with them if they need anything until I can call them again if the theater is mostly empty. That's what I did during Elemental. #TraumaAwarenessMatters

But yet people can't find it in their hearts to do that for me. I'm not asking for much. Especially right after I get off the phone with them. If she had just picked up when I called back eight minutes later, I wouldn't be fighting a panic attack or on edge now. #TraumaAwarenessMatters

I have come a long way in my trauma recovery journey with hard work and God's love and grace. But I still need compassion and emotional support from people. I don't think that's too much to ask. #TraumaAwarenessMatters

I loved the first act of Wicked when I saw it. The second act was ruined with the exception of For Good by someone I was with. When I look back on that time, all I remember is this same person telling me, "I don't know how to fix you." Did I mention it was my birthday? #TraumaSucks